A Twisted Love Day
by Asha Klienze
Summary: On White Day, Kira, Athrun, and Deakka plan a surprise for Lacus, Cagalli, and Milly. Hmm... What kind of surprise would that be?


A/N: This is my first fic! > Please review! Enjoy reading!

Disclaimer:I don't own this anime...

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**A Twisted Love Day**

The Trip

Today, Kira, Athrun and Deakka had a little surprise for Lacus, Cagalli and Milliaria and for the three girls; it was an unexpected surprise for them. Actually, on this day, the fourteenth of March, the three coordinators planned to bring the three ladies to the hot springs, which they don't know of… yet…

In the car, everyone was silent. Milly was looking at the wonderful view on the way, Deakka, onto his disc man as usual, Athrun, busy telling Kira where to go, Cagalli was waiting impatiently and Lacus played with noisy little Pink-chan and Torii. "Where are we going, Kira?" Lacus asked. "You'll see." Kira told Lacus, having an evil grin on his face while driving the car. Deep inside, Cagalli was eager to know where they we're going. Not that the fact that she was safe with her brother and Lacus, but it was her curiosity that struck her every minute. "Come on! Tell us already! Zala, it's either you tell me or I'll strangle you!" Cagalli cried out. Athrun gave a big, loud gulp, giving Kira the 'help-me-Kira-or-I'll-die-early-because-of-your-sister' signal. "So? Zala, speak up! Now!" Cagalli demanded. "Um… you know, Lacus, this suddenly reminds me of Kira and Cagalli's birthday party. Don't you remember?" Milly gave a giggle. "Yup. It was when—" "No! Don't remind us!" the twins said in chorus.

-- Flashback—

"Kira! Cagalli! No more alcohol!" Athrun and Lacus said. Kira and Cagalli smiled evilly as they continued their toast. A few minutes later, it seemed that the alcohol completely took over. It seemed that their right judgment ran away and turned them into the most unlikely individuals that they really were, dancing and stripping in public to the waist while their friends tried to make them go back to their senses, but to no avail. Who would imagine Kira dancing like a macho dancer and Cagalli dancing the Lambada? Athrun tied Cagalli to her bed, and Kira to a post. In the morning, Kira found himself on the floor, while Cagalli had stiff arms. "Huh? What am I doing on the floor?" "Um… Are you sure you want to know?" Athrun asked in an unsure way. Meanwhile, Cagalli marched out of her room, complaining that she had stiff arms. "What the hell happened last night? Jeez, I don't remember anything." Athrun called Lacus, whispering that she should tell Kira what happened and Athrun would tell Cagalli. As soon as the news was told to them, they both said: "WHAT!" "Oh. So that's why I'm only in my undies.." As soon as Cagalli realized this again, she looked down and blushed, wrapping herself in her blanket. Kira and Cagalli walked out of their rooms, standing face to face. "Oh, Kira, are you missing something?" Athrun snickered. "Eh? What might that be?" Kira asked. "Why don't you look around..?" Kira ignored Athrun and walked outside his room. Lacus and Cagalli both gasped in surprise. "Eh? Is there something wrong?" Cagalli threw a towel to Kira. "Will you get dressed properly! Jeez, don't be indecent!" "Erm, talk about yourself, Cagalli." "Idiot!" They both dressed and went to face the sheer embarrassment.

-- End Flashback—

Laughter and maliciousness filled the car as the twins stayed silent and sunk into their seats with a dark, red hue painted into their faces. "Hehe… that was… hehe… hilarious…" Athrun laughed out, trying to restrain himself from doing so. "Shut up, idiot!" Cagalli screamed out, hitting Athrun with an intense punch, missing, and making everyone laugh louder than usual, imitating a film of pain, while clutching his chest. "Ah! That hurts!" The car came at a sudden stop. The girls noticed that the car halted to a funny-looking landmark they've never seen before. "We're here." Kira said, still having a slight blush on his face. "A hot spring?" the girls asked. "Ah…" "Yup. Come on! Let's go!" the brown-haired coordinator said. "Ah.. I don't want Deakka peeping through the wall.. Cagalli.." "Don't worry, Milly, I'll punch him and make him beg for mercy... if he ever does that… especially Athrun!" What awaits the six teenagers in the hot springs? Did Kira, Athrun and Deakka plan something more? Hmm… we'll see…

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A/N: The insanity just keeps growing...

* * *

The Evil Plot

"Come on! Let's go!" Kira told the others. "This is going to be a long weekend!" Cagalli sighed, wishing that she wasn't here but deep inside she was waiting for this moment… with Athrun. "Cagalli, hey snap out of it. What are you thinking about, anyway?" Athrun said to Cagalli, still spaced out because of that calming thought. "Nothing." "Nothing? You we're so spaced out just a few minutes ago." "I just said nothing!" Cagalli looked at him and saw Athrun's emerald eyes staring right at hers. _"I never noticed that his eyes we're so pretty" _she thought to herself as her face rose to a dark red blush. Cagalli touched Athrun's soft face, which turned to a bright shade of pink. The coordinators eyes fascinated her, thinking how wonderful they we're. Out of nowhere, their friends heard a peculiar sound coming from Athrun and Cagalli. "Hey, why'd you slap me for?" Athrun was puzzled by the girl's action. "For no reason, I felt like I wanted to slap you." "What!" the blue-haired coordinator was puzzled about the reason that she gave. "Come on! Let's go!" Cagalli walked and led the way with Kira through the hot springs.

Meanwhile, inside the hot springs, they didn't know that the teachers were celebrating White Day at the exact place Kira, Athrun and Deakka planned to have theirs. At that moment, an unexpected commotion was happening to them caused by Mwu and Rau, who were now destroying all the equipment in the game room. "Let's have a battle now, Le Creuset!" "Sure, La Flaga. But I know that I'm the one who is going to win!" Rau laughed sarcastically at Mwu, who was irritated at Rau since that afternoon. "Murrae, you're the only one who could stop him and you better do it now before they destroy everything!" Natarle exclaimed. "Just leave them be. This seems interesting." Azrael said as he cheered and watched them both making a commotion in the room. "Great, I'm going somewhere else." Natarle sighed and left the room. "Rau, let's make a bet!." Mwu said confidently. "Ok. Sure. But I know you wouldn't win. Someone like you never did things right." Rau laughed once again. "This time **I** will do things right!" "Hmm… Ok. Mwu, if you win, I'll give you my job as a P.E. teacher…" Actually, Mwu hated his job as a Math teacher, giving boring quizzes and tests. For him, it wasn't him to leave his students and himself to the cage of boredom till death. What he wanted was excitement and adventure not boring quizzes and tests and though he hated Rau even more because he was placed in that position. "… But if I win,… I shall get your Persian cat… deal?" Rau asked with a smile painted on his face. "Nooooo! My cat! Please! Not Muram!" ( --named after Murrae Ramius) Rau smiled expertly... passing by the main foyer. "Eh..? Oh.. I think I'll have more fun than I thought." Rau said to himself seeing the coordinators and their friends walking to the reception area. He strode through the place, heading for his room to get some paper, a pen, his wallet, and headed for the coffee shop to scheme some more. Rau drained his coffee and headed for the hardware store to pick up some supplies for the rest of his beautiful plan, smiling. He set some traps that would surely give him the best satisfaction. "Let's see what you'll do, Mwu La Flaga.. Catch me if you can!" He integrated the traps for the girls that when they were complete, it would be dropped into the boys' hot spring pool with a twenty-four hour love potion, leaving them to blame each other and create total chaos. Will Rau succeed in his 'genius' plan? Or will Mwu and the others able to prevent it?

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The First Phase

Meanwhile, Kira and the others were talking about their bedroom accommodations. Kira and Cagalli stayed together, Milly and Lacus, and Deakka with Athrun. They had no idea what they were walking into, literally. Murrae Ramius just came out from her room, wearing a bathing suit and a bathrobe on, walking to the pool when she got caught into Rau's trap, screaming. "Hehehe. Just a couple other girls and my plan will be in effect.. Murrae will blame Mwu, and this is just the start! I am a genius!'" Rau snickered. Just then, Mwu walked over to Rau. "Hey, Le Creuset, have you by any chance seen Murrae?" "I thought you were together, Mwu. Why are you asking me? My, my.. Lost your little girlfriend, eh? I'm sure she's somewhere." Rau grinned. "You must have some sort of repellant for Ramius to go running away from you that fast!" Kira walked to the coffee shop to get some soda. "Oh, Mwu-san, hello! I didn't know you were having a vacation here as well." "Hello, Kira-kun. I'm looking for Murrae-san. I think she's hiding from me. I wonder where she might be." Mwu wondered. "I haven't seen her anywhere though." Kira said, thinking that Mwu probably scared her away or something. "Torii!" Kira's pet came and remembered that he was supposed to fetch some soda for his friends. "Mwu-san, I have to go. I forgot I had something to do." Kira went on to do his job when Athrun called him, complaining that his sister was tormenting him for no exact reason. "Kira… No! Oh my! Your sister… she's using me… as a slave! NO! The torment, Kira! Please save me!" Athrun said while clutching Kira's shirt, pulling it and causing Kira to fall on the ground. "Hey, Athrun! Quit it! Somebody might think that you're doing something else to me!" Suddenly, Cagalli came, seeing Athrun not doing what he was ordered to do. "Hi, Kira!" "No! Kira! Don't let her take me away!" Athrun said, begging for Kira to save him. "Athrun… I told you to get something for me and bring it to the room, didn't I?" she gave Athrun the 'evil look'. He panicked when he saw that look on Cagalli's face because he knew that she was about to do something that he didn't really appreciate. Athrun immediately got up and went to the counter to avoid any trouble. "Well, I'll just be in my room. Oh… yes, Kira, if you're looking for Lacus, she's just in the garden, walking around with Pink-chan. Bye!" Cagalli walked out and proceeded to her room. _"Hmm… why do I like making him suffer, if I'm in love with him…? I'm really stupid, am I?"_ Unknowingly, Cagalli did not notice the trap that Rau had placed on the pathway. Rau was there at the side, observing and waiting for Cagalli to fall in his beautiful, well-made trap, a trap made just for her, and her only. "My genius plan seems to be going into motion." Rau said to himself. She walked continuously and unaware; fell in Rau's trap, screaming for Athrun and Kira. _"Hehehe… as expected. Two are down and some more to go. Yes, I'm such a genius."_ Rau crossed out Cagalli's name on the list, excited, on who would be his next victim. "I have to leave the crime scene before someone else sees me… hehehe." Rau left his place and proceeded to his 'headquarters' when Athrun and Kira came running in the hallway but Kira stopped all of a sudden and saw Cagalli's ring (it was a ring that Athrun gave her last month) lying on the wooden floor. "I-isn't this Cagalli's ring?" the brown-haired coordinator said. "It means Cagalli was taken here!" Athrun said, letting go of the tray of food he was holding. "Murrae, where are you?" Mwu came and saw Kira and Athrun starting at the floor. "Hmm… What are you two youngsters doing, hmm…?" Mwu told the two out of nowhere that frightened Kira and Athrun, making them fall on the ground by the element of surprise. "Ah… La Flaga-san, I didn't know you we're here." Athrun panted. "Yes. Did you know? I heard that someone has been kidnapping pretty girls and that the mastermind of it all was a ghost." Mwu whispered. Because of the information heard by the two teenagers, both of them gave a loud gulp. "Hehehe. Don't worry, they say it was but be careful. He maybe watching your girlfriends now and making a plot of kidnapping them. Murrae was one of them I guess." "Cagalli!" the two boys screamed, realizing that she might be one of those people who were taken as well.

Will they ever find Cagalli and know who the kidnapper is? Hmm…

* * *

Le Creuset's Mind

Within Le Creuset's mind, he was conducting an evil though a 'brilliant' plan for the next victims. "Hmm… Let us see…" He thought, as he tapped his pen on the notebook, thinking who would be his next victim… or maybe victims… "Ah…" his mouth suddenly curled up into a smile. "I see…" Rau wrote down two distinct names and prepared for his next move. "You shall see Mwu La Flaga! I SHALL PREVAIL!" Rau laughed sarcastically when Azrael screamed and opened his door. "SHUT UP! I'M TRYING TO GET SOME SLEEP HERE! IF YOU'RE PLANNING TO WAKE ME UP IN THE MIDDLE OF THE DARN NIGHT THEN DON'T EVEN TRY! I GOT TO SLEEP YOU KNOW!" Azrael calmed down after screaming at Rau for ten seconds and he thought being screamed by him was total hell. "Goodnight." Azrael smiled and closed the door. "What a madman… Lord, please bless his soul so he can rest in peace." Rau prayed kneeling down and clasping his hands together, hoping that God could hear him. "SHUT UP, LE CREUSET! I'M STILL AWAKE AND I CAN HEAR YOU!" "Yare-yare, I think that is the reason why girls don't fall for you. Tsk, tsk, tsk…" "GO TO SLEEP! I NEED MY BEAUTY SLEEP!" Rau sighed and decided to go to sleep so he could plan it out tomorrow… When he suddenly saw Milly crossing to get a glass of water. Rau snuck back to his room, changing his mask to a black one and put a cape over his shoulders… and oh yes, the voice changer was in order… Here comes another hapless victim… Rau made sure that he was seen by his victim, inching closer and closer to her skin, Milly screamed. She was caught in Le Creuset's trap. Ah. Another beautiful masterpiece executed! Rau thought to himself. "Now, one more to go… capture Lacus and hide her annoying little Pink-chan for total success! Oh, I can see it now.. Once I have done that, those girls will love me and only me! Oh, that seems wonderful!" Le Creuset thought to himself.

* * *

The 'Ingenious' Plan

Rau picked up another cup of coffee at the twenty-four hour coffee shop, thinking intently on his masterpiece that must be completed as soon as possible. Rau's train of thought was apparently broken when Mwu, Kira and Athrun sat down at a corner table together to order some food and drinks. "Kira! Are you in here?" Lacus asked. "Lacus, I'm at the coffee shop. " "Ok, I'm on my way." When Lacus arrived, they all asked her why she was still up. " I can't sleep… I guess I'm kinda lonely not having Milly to be with me at night. "Ah… with me, Lacus you'll never be lonely…" Rau thought, smiling to himself. Rau drained his coffee and stood up. "Goodnight, Gentlemen and lady, if you don't mind, I'll be off. Bedtime." "Goodnight." Rau walked back to his room, planning ahead. Suddenly, Mwu had an unexplained instinct on who did all the crimes in the hot springs. "Listen, Kira, Athrun, keep watch on Le Creuset. I think he's up to something." He said in a suspicious tone. "But Mwu-san, we we're watching him this morning and he never did anything but read a book." Kira exclaimed. "I suggest, Kira, sleep with Lacus tonight." "WHAT!" Kira screamed, having a bright, dark red hue on his face. "B-But I can't do that!" "Kira, you like her and I guess she likes you… so, there's no problem with that. Unlike me, I have no chance with your sister." "Well… no! I can't! Lacus might get mad!" "You want to protect her right? Then, sleep in her room!" "Kira, Athrun has a point. Go now and enjoy!" "What?" Athrun pushes Kira to the door and drags him to Lacus' room. "Athrun! No! I-I can't do that!" "Lacus! Wait!" Athrun runs to Lacus, still dragging Kira by the arm. "Hey, Lacus, Kira thought about this when you left and he wanted to ask if it was okay." "What is it?" "Uh… since you we're lonely… he wanted if he could sleep in your room tonight, if it's ok with you." Lacus abruptly blushed and she tried controlling it. "Uh… Actually, I'm really scared being alone… I guess its okay." "Okay. Here bring Kira with you. See you in the morning!" Athrun winked at Kira, who has been silent after he said that. Kira and Lacus went in the room together when she remembered something. " Oh. I forgot- I have to look for Pink- Chan. I can't tell where she went off to." "Lacus, let me look for Pink- Chan. I'm sure she's just with Torii in the garden, so don't worry about it.'" "Ok, Thanks. Please find Pink-chan quickly. I'm going to go to get some warm milk for us, ok?" Ok." Once again, Le Creuset found a perfect opportunity to complete his 'ingenious' plan. _"Yes… at last an opportunity to get her… this shall be fun…"_ He got his hood ( -- a hood that looked like Darth Vader's) and his ready-to-use and battery-operated voice changer and he was all set to make his 'ingenious' plan happen. Meanwhile, Kira was worried about Lacus and decided to follow her secretly, making sure he wasn't seen. _"Great… This sucks… I'm so stupid… how could I let her go on by herself? What if the ghost gets her? No! That can' t happen!"_ he ran as fast as he could and saw her going down the stairs. Surprisingly, Kira saw an odd, dark figure that seemed to be smiling and aiming to catch Lacus. He ran to her and tripped which caused the both of them to fall on the ground. "Sorry.. I didn't mean to. "It's no problem, Kira. " "I just thought that you shouldn't be walking alone, besides, we know that there's a ghost who captures pretty girls here. What if you were next?" "Oh Kira, you really shouldn't worry. I'm fine. Have you seen Pink- Chan yet?" "Uh no, I haven't. I'll look for Pink- Chan.. I haven't seen Torii anywhere either. I wonder where he's gone." "I've never seen Torii leave you or Athrun before, so I really think it's strange- besides, Pink- Chan would never leave me. That is strange." "Let's go, Lacus. I'll walk you to the room. Let me get the warm milk. " "Ok. "

* * *

"While You Were Sleeping…"

Kira and Lacus finished drinking their milk and Kira fell asleep quickly. "Oh Kira, you keep worrying about me, and I don't want you to. I'm sorry if I put a sleeping pill in your milk, but I want to find Pink- Chan." Rau heard the door open and inconspicuously watched. "Ah… now is my chance! Yes! Victory is mine!" Rau said to himself. _"Oh, Lacus… come to me… be mine only…"_ Rau grabbed his 'magical' equipment and headed straight for the passage leading to the garden. He waited there and prepared for Lacus' trap. "This shall be fun." Rau told himself and saw Lacus coming out of her room, heading straight to the garden to look for Pink-chan. "Pink-chan, where are you?" she whispered. Rau was excited to see what was going to happen next and little by little she was going near his trap but just past by it. _"Oh no! I didn't see this coming! I have to make a plan while Kira's asleep."_ Out of nowhere, an idea just popped into Rau's head, which made him say 'Aha!' to himself. To his surprise, he saw Mwu approaching the hallway. He took off his 'enchanted' equipment, which he was wearing and walked across Mwu to make sure that he didn't see his stuff. "Hello, La Flaga, you seemed stressed. Why is it?" "I have no time for you Le Creuset. I need to ask Kira for something." "Oh… really? Or is it that you are just scared to face me, is it?" "Don't start with me, Le Creuset!" "Oh… I knew it all along… you we're scared to fight me ever since!" "No! If you want, we can have a showdown, right here and right now!" "Nah… I have no time for you too… and yes… I saw Murrae go here a few minutes ago…" "Really? At last, I can tell her the one about yesterday! Thank you, Le Creuset!" "No need to thank me…" "Bye-bye!" Mwu skipped away to his room and back to his dreamland. "Yes… back to action…" Rau smiled and wore his 'exquisite' equipment and headed off to work on his 'magnificent' plan. "Blast it! I shall get you yet, Lacus, or my name isn't Rau Le Creuset…but it is." He grinned. Just then, he asked himself what would make Lacus drop all her defenses. "Oh yes… of course! It's that noisy metal can. I'm a genius!" Rau set another devised plan. He set Pink-Chan free in the hallway, sure that she'd be caught this time. "Pink- Chan? Is that you?" Lacus couldn't believe her eyes. "Pink- Chan! I'm so happy to see you!" And as he predicted, Lacus fell straight into his evil plan. "Mwuahahahah! I have succeeded! It is almost time for all of them to fall madly in love with me. Rau smiled and proceeded to make the finishing touches to his Grand event. "By the time you all realize it, it will be too late! These girls are mine and mine only! " "SHUT UP, LE CRUESET! I'M TRYING TO GET SOME SLEEP, DAMN YOU!" "Sorry, Azrael. I was having too much fun playing my video games." ALRIGHT, ALRIGHT I FORGIVE YOU … BUT SHUT UP! I NEED MY BELOVED BEAUTY SLEEP, YOU KNOW! "Egomaniacal prude." "I HEARD THAT!" "Ok, ok. Goodnight. Damn it."

* * *

An Illusion

This deep, dark cove held the four ladies he captured two days ago. It was an electronic soundproof cage where absolutely no one could ever hear their screams and cries for help. "One day, you shall all thank me for saving you from your untimely demise! "Rau explained sarcastically. "I shall make them fall in love with me and they shall be mine!" He laughed sarcastically. "Now, it's time to give them a visit…" The evil 'genius' wore his costume and headed to his 'secret' cove as fast as he could, making sure he wasn't seen by anyone. "Hello ladies. Welcome to my secret cove. It is now the time to complete my plan! I shall make you all mine!" "You idiot! No way I'd get married to a man who's WAY older than me!" Cagalli exclaimed. "You cannot escape! I shall all give you love potions so you shall go for me and only me! Hahahaha! Accept it. There's nothing you can do anyway." " Mm… is it just me, or is way too hot here?" Milly asked. "Why, Milly? I know you must be excited to be with me under the covers of our love nest! I knew it all along, don't deny it!" "Um, actually to tell you, no." "And why not? But you'll see, after you take my special potion, I will be all you'll see!" "Sorry to break your bubble, but… Did you ever take a bath?" Milly asked. "Why? What's wrong?" "Uh… 'Coz you stink…" Everyone realized this fact and held up their nose. "Eh?" Rau checked his underarms if it was true and it did stink. "Oh! My! I forgot to take a bath! I have to go now, but I shall return! Bye!" He went to his room, got his stuff and headed straight to the shower room to take a nice bath.

Meanwhile, Athrun was in Kira's room scolding him for not taking care of Lacus and Kira protested that it wasn't his fault. "Yes! It was your fault Kira! You weren't careful enough!" "But, really it wasn't my fault! I was wide-awake and I suddenly fell asleep! And… and… when I woke, I saw that she was gone! I looked for her everywhere and she wasn't anywhere! I… I… I'm really so careless… I'm so sorry!" Kira cried and knelt down on the floor, hoping that nothing bad happened to Lacus. "Uh… Kira, I'm sorry. I didn't mean to hurt your feelings. That's ok. I'm sure we'll find her." Athrun comforted his friend, as he was worried about Cagalli's whereabouts as well. Mwu went in and saw the two teenagers on the floor. "Hey, what happened?" "Mwu-san, its Lacus… she was kidnapped… by the ghost… I really didn't mean to lose track of her… I mean that I just fell asleep for no reason… I'm sorry…" "Well… Kira, we have no other choice…" "Huh? What is it?" "I'll tell you in the coffee shop." The three of them went to the coffee shop and talked about it. "Ok, Kira, Athrun, it's like this… I've observed the victims of the ghost and I realized that all of them are girls, right? So I've thought that one of you should dress up as a girl and pretend that you two have a relationship." "WHAT!" The two coordinators got shocked about the plan. "No way I'm being a girl… Ah! Pick Kira! He looks just like Cagalli and they're twins anyway…" "Athrun! NO! I can't do that!" "Come on, Kira! You need to! You want to save Lacus right? Then you have to do it if you really want to save her." "But, but—." Kira protested. "Okay, so it's settled. Kira, you're the girl and Athrun, you're the guy. Now, Kira, You need to wear this with the wig and we have to find something for you to wear. Don't forget to borrow Lacus' bra. I'll get something to fill it in with." Mwu grinned. "Remember, you'll need to pretend to have a relationship with Athrun and the ghost is supposed to abduct you, so don't fight back. Never reveal your true self to anyone, Kira. Oh, bring this knife, it might be in handy." "But, Mwu-san!" "No 'buts'. Now, go and proceed with my plan!" Athrun dragged Kira out of the coffee shop and talked about Mwu's plan on the way to the room. For Kira, he was really reluctant and didn't want to do this. He wasn't sure at all if their plan was going to work, but right now, all he could think of was if Lacus was safe or not, and it still bothered him. Kira fidgeted on the way to the costume shop. At last, they both reached the room filled with clothes. "What the—?" Athrun picked out a revealing outfit and shoved it at him. "Come on, Kira! We need to dress you up!" "WHAT? No… I am not going to wear that… No way!" "Kira!" "NO!"

Feeling mortified, Kira and Athrun walked out of the costume shop and headed for the car, with passersby watching them intently. "What a beautiful couple. I bet they're engaged to be married." A man said while crossing the street with his fiancée. Athrun opened the door and stepped aside for Kira. "Let's go, honey." Once inside the car, Kira shuddered. "I wish you wouldn't call me that. It makes my flesh creep up, you know. " Athrun winked at Kira, holding his chin too close. "Let's see… we do have to make it seem real. Your new name shall be… Kirsten." Kira made a face. "Well, it's better than Kirara or something." "Athrun. " "Hmm? " "Just don't try to kiss me… it's mortifying enough already." Athrun laughed. "I'll try, Kirsten, I'll try." Athrun and Kira returned to the resort, and true enough, every hot-blooded male was indeed gawking at her exquisite beauty. "Why Athrun, who is this beauty?" Mwu, Rau and Deakka asked. "This is my girlfriend, Kirsten." "Kirsten honey, say hello to Mwu, Rau and Deakka." Kira just nodded his head. "I never knew you really liked shy girls, Athrun… at least she's not as loud as Cagalli." With that, everyone laughed while Cagalli was fuming. "When I get out of here, I'll make Athrun beg me for mercy!" Rau's eyes were shining. "Ah, another lovely maiden to add to my collection! I must make a plan to ensnare Athrun's new girlfriend. She shall be mine!"

* * *

"Diversions"

Rau Le Crueset was apparently daydreaming all morning. "Hey! Are you at least paying any attention to us up here! Damn, we're hungry! How about some breakfast?" "Be quiet, Cagalli. I'm thinking. Besides, how many times do I have to remind you that no one can hear you!" "I never knew you had a brain." Cagalli snickered. "So, what are you thinking of? Ha, I'm sure that new girl, Kirsten would never pay any attention to you at all, with Athrun all over her?" "You shall all see, Cagalli, I shall succeed! I'll be back, my princess." "I swear, I'd rather drop dead!" "You'll think differently after I've captured Kirsten. She is H-O-T!" Everyone started laughing their brains out. "And what is so funny?" "She'll probably faint when you get near her." Murrae and Cagalli started snickering. "What's the matter?" Rau smelled his shirt. "I don't smell bad. " Rau held a mirror to his face. "And I'm not bad-looking either." "Try your armpits, phantom of the opera!" Cagalli snickered some more, and everyone joined in. "What?" Rau put his armpits up and smelled them. "Oh my, I need to take a bath again! I forgot to put deodorant." All the girls laughed so loud, rolling on their tummies.

Rau ignored them and left for his room. Meanwhile, Athrun, Kira and Mwu went to the hot spring palace to avert all interruptions while they further discussed their plan of how to rescue the girls.

"Ok. We're here because it's dangerous to talk about our rescue plan in the resort. I really have that strange feeling about Rau. "Mwu- san, are you certain?" Kira and Athrun asked. "I've never been this certain before." Suddenly, a good- looking girl whistled at Kira (a.k.a. Kirsten).

"Hi! I don't think I've seen you folks here before. First time?" "Huh?" "Oh, by the way, I'm Felicity." She smiled.

Kira and Athrun looked at each other. "Hello, Felicity. Nice to meet you." I'm Mwu La Flaga, this is Athrun and his girlfriend, Kristen." Kira and Athrun nodded at Felicity. "So, how do you find our humble establishment? Would you like me to give you a tour of the place?" "Sure." Mwu said, totally ignoring them both. Mwu focused his attention on the scenery and on Felicity's curvaceous body.

Athrun and Kira noticed that Mwu-san's attention was on Felicity, when her attention was really on Kristen. "Hmm.. she seems delightful." Felicity thought. "Athrun… I'm thinking of something." "What is it, honey?" "Wanna have our honeymoon here?" Athrun grinned. "No, that's not it. I think she's a lesbian. She's been giving me some sort of appraisal. It's creeping me out." Kira whispered.

Athrun put his arms around Kira's arms and waist, leading him to the nature park, when he noticed that she was watching him again. "It just means that you're that beautiful… heheh." Kira stepped away from Athrun. "Damn, will you stop it already! " "Stop what, honey?" Kira made a face and turned serious. "Stop falling in love with me!" Kira whispered in Athrun's ear. Athrun grinned again. "Damn it, Athrun, don't you dare kiss me." His face was barely inches away. "Why don't you two lovebirds just go get it on?" Mwu smirked at them. "WHAT!" Kira said, embarrassed. Athrun grinned.

Just then, Mwu noticed the boys… and something else. "Hey, did you see something familiar?" "Wha!" "I know that smile. It's Le Creuset! Where is he going?"

* * *

"Revelation"

Mwu followed the suspicious- looking Le Creuset into the darkened passage, while Athrun and Kira were quarreling. Athrun stuck his tongue out at Kira, with him getting really irked at Athrun, running in his direction. Athrun laughed watching Kira being hot on his trail. "Catch me if you can, honey!" Athrun hid in a corner and carried Kira off to their room, unmindful of prying eyes. Felicity saw that scene and secretly schemed to get the girl of her dreams. "Damn." Felicity paced and cursed under her breath, going to the coffee shop to have a cool glass of Curacao. For the time being, Mwu made sure to be very, very quiet, lest he be seen. He got a glimpse of the sound- proof room, seeing the girls hanging right above the hidden hot spring pools. "We're starving, I tell you!" Cagalli screamed. "Hush. I hear other voices." Rau said. "No, no, that was just our stomachs complaining." Milly and Lacus said, stealing a look at the still- open doorway. Mwu silently walked out of the darkened passage and ran off to the boys' room. Mwu walked into a current display of boys' childish antics: a pillow fight.

"Kira. Athrun. Stop horsing around. I know who the ghost is!" Mwu said excitedly. Just when Mwu was about to tell them, Azrael suddenly opened the door without warning and screamed: "WILL YOU BE QUIET?" "Azrael… what are you wearing!" Mwu asked, half-shocked. "I'M TRYING TO LAUNDER MY CLOTHES, DAMN IT. THAT CRAZY LE CREUSET TOOK MY DAMNED UNDERWEAR. HAVE YOU SEEN HIM? IT'S STILL CLEAN YOU KNOW! DAMN HIM AND HIS PERVERSIONS! HE MUST BE GAY, I TELL YOU… AND WE SLEEP IN THE SAME ROOM! I KNOW HE LOVES MY IRRESISTABLE BODY!" Mwu shrugged. "He must be in the room now, Azrael." "I SUPPOSE SO. THANKS! I'M COMING, MY LOVE!" Azrael skipped to the room. "As I was saying, I know who the ghost is!" "Who?" Kira and Athrun asked in chorus. "It's--" Just then, Felicity knocked and went inside the room. "Oh- am I interrupting anything?" "No, it's ok." They said in unison. "I just wanted to tell you that there's going to be a celebration in honor of White day. I do hope you'll all come." she said, looking at Kirsten. Instinctively, Athrun placed his arm around Kirsten. "See you later, Kirsten." Felicity said, with a smile on her face. "Tonight, you shall be mine." Felicity thought. Athrun kissed Kira on the forehead as she left. Kira pushed Athrun away from him as soon as she left. "Eww." "Hmm.. I think I smell a hint of romance in here, eh?" They both flinched and threw the pillows at Mwu.

* * *

"Preparations"

Mwu finally told the boys about what he saw in the darkened hallway near the hot spring palace. Kira was to be caught by Rau intentionally for this , and he hated it. Athrun shoved another sexy outfit at Kira, snickering. "Aw, come on, Kira, wear it. How are we going to free the girls if you don't cooperate? Besides, I'm sure you wouldn't want Le Creuset to marry your beloved, right?" "But, but, I…" "I'm sure Felicity will enjoy watching you as well." Athrun grinned.

At the present, Rau was going through his plan step- by- step and polishing his act to get Kirsten with the other girls. "Let's see. While they're all busy with the festivities, I shall catch her by walking across her path… she'll be scared and fall straight into my trap, then they shall be dropped into the hot spring pool with the 24 hour love potion and love me and me only!"

Unknown to Rau Le Creuset, Felicity Wyans had her own plan to ensnare Kirsten. "Oh, Kirsten my love… you shall be mine!" Felicity said quite audibly. Just then, Le Creuset heard it. "What! You want Kirsten?" "You heard right, stranger." "So… that makes you a lesbian, yes?" "Damn right, I am. What you gonna do about it?" "How about we work together… for a common goal? Or not." "What do you mean exactly?" "I have 5 other lovely ladies captured up there." Rau pointed. "Oh! Yeah, maybe we could strike a deal, then?" Felicity probed. "Exactly my point. Rau Le Creuset at your service. And you would be?" "Felicity Wyans."

* * *

"The Deal"

Felicity and Rau thought of the "ultimate plan" that would seal their fate- That was, Felicity with Kirsten, and Le Creuset with the other ladies, but when Rau got to Kirsten, that would change entirely everything. Rau had no plans whatsoever of sharing his luck with this lesbian.

"If Felicity thinks I will let her be and do what she wants, then she's dead wrong! They are mine, and mine alone!" Le Creuset said to himself. "I think it is time again for me to don my 'magical equipment' and scare the ladies. Mwehehehehe. What a wonderful idea." Le Creuset smiled. With that in mind, he set traps for Felicity and Kirsten. Rau sat in the coffee shop, watching his surroundings. "I must obliterate that girl's intentions… but how?" Just then, Rau got an ingenious idea. "I shall recreate my evil plan, just when I captured Lacus. Yes, that's it!" Kira and Athrun were walking to the nature park. Rau saw his target and rubbed his hands together. "I am a genius!" At the same time, Felicity just walked into the nature park as well. "Damn." Le Creuset cursed. It just occurred to him that he could get two birds with one stone. Hurriedly, he put on his equipment and walked straight for Felicity. She started trembling and screamed. Athrun protected Kirsten, putting her behind him. "Oh… of course. Athrun would never leave her alone, but I shall return for her." "It's the ghost!" They exclaimed. Just as Rau predicted, Felicity fell into his trap. "One down… one more to go!" Rau thought to himself and disappeared in a cloud of smoke. "You know what they say, save the best for last!" "It's good that I was able to fart… or else, my smoke bomb wouldn't go off. That was close!" Felicity fainted from the stench and he tied her up against a post in his "secret cove" and smiled.

* * *

Le Creuset's Demise

The preparations for the celebration that night was nearly complete, as well as Le Creuset's. He set the alarm for midnight. "With Felicity out of my hair, I can get to Kirsten. At last, I have prevailed!" Athrun pushed a high- cut silver Chon Sang at Kira with silver slippers. "Eh? How am I supposed to move if I'm wearing this?" "Oh, right- there's a pair of silver pants over there. I actually thought you were supposed to make Le Creuset want you." Kira grumbled. While he was putting the silver satin pants on, Mwu suddenly went in the room and said: "Hey, it's almost time." Just then, he noticed Kira in the process of getting his other foot into the pants and said quite audibly: "Oh, I'm sorry- I didn't realize that your fiancée was busy getting dressed." The kindly housekeeper was passing by and sweeping the foyer outside the room when she saw Mwu open the door quite widely while Kira was apparently still in shock. The housekeeper hit Mwu with the broom that she was using and peeped in the room. "Oh, I'm sorry. Is this man bothering you? He's been doing that to the rest of ladies here who come from the hot springs." She shooed him out but not quite closed the door. "You pervert! You should be ashamed of yourself!" "But, but… I was only- it wasn't me-" "Only what! " "Only making sure that they were ok…" "Excuses, excuses! Oh my, such maniacs! Get out of here before I beat you to a pulpit!" the housekeeper said, shaking her broom at him.

Le Creuset was leaning on the other side of the wall, chuckling. "Well, well, La Flaga, looks like someone's been hanging around the hot springs. Tsk, tsk. Pervert, eh?" "If anyone's a pervert, that's certainly you, Le Creuset!" "Well now, La Flaga, before you find out what's to become, it will be too late! I'll have your cat, and so much more!" "I don't think so." "I shall prevail, La Flaga!" Rau laughed and left. "Damn you, Le Creuset!" Mwu muttered. Azrael was passing to go to his room when he heard Le Creuset's name. "I HEARD HIS NAME SOMEWHERE AROUND HERE. HAVE YOU SEEN MY LOVE?" "Yes indeed, Azrael. As a matter of fact, he went over there." Mwu pointed to the direction he went off to. "THANKS! WAIT FOR ME, MY LOVE!"

Kira finally got to his senses and picked up the dagger he put in his hair and walked out with Athrun at his side and whispered: "Remember, whatever you do, free the ladies and make sure nothing happens to them. The alarm is set at twelve, so you'll only have ten minutes to set them all free, because Le Creuset placed a twenty-four hour love potion in the pool. Don't forget it!" "Stop pressuring me!" Deakka passed by the hallway and accidentally overheard the last phrase. "So! Athrun IS marrying Kirsten. Wait till everyone hears about the good news, and I'll be best man!" Deakka went off to include it in the announcements before the presiding speech.

Kirsten and Athrun went to the Hot Spring Palace for the opening remarks. "I'm going to leave you here, and for sure, the ghost will be sure to carry you off and bring you there." Kira nodded. "Honey, let me just get drinks for us. I'll be right back, ok?" Kira sighed. "It creeps me out when he grins like that." Just before Athrun stood to pick up the beverages, Deakka announced that Athrun and Kirsten were soon to be wed. Everyone applauded while the girls rose their voices in protest. As expected, Le Creuset swung across the commotion and swept Kirsten away into his 'cove'. As soon as he got there, he sighed. "Good thing that the damn rope did not break… or else… oh- hello, ladies! It's about time you… be mine. Mwahahahaha." "Uh… are you forgetting something?" the ladies asked. "And what might that be? I'm dressed for success!" All the ladies broke out in laughter. "Why? What's wrong with what I'm wearing?" "Tarzan thinks we're still in the jungle. I wonder what happened to Baloo?" Cagalli said. "Who's Baloo?" Rau asked. All the ladies broke out in laughter again. "He's a chimpanzee, you idiot!" Cagalli said while laughing. "You won't be laughing at me for long, ladies. Soon, you will love me and only me! I'll be expecting my love slaves at midnight." Rau grinned. Kira was thrown in the cage. "Meet Kirsten, ladies. I'll go ahead and change my attire now for the main event."

As soon as Kira was in the cage, he started cutting off all the ropes with his dagger. "Why are you helping us, Kirsten?" Cagalli asked. "Aren't you supposed to get married to Athrun?" "Of course not, Cagalli. It's me, Kira." "No, it's not! You're a woman! "Cagalli said. "No, look- I'm only pretending to be a woman so I could save you." "Oh Lacus, he's become gay!"" Uh… whose clothes are those, then?" Cagalli and Lacus asked. "I borrowed some from Lacus' and some from a costume shop, ok! We have to get going! It's almost twelve." Lacus and Kira blushed. Suddenly, the lights went out. Kira pulled out a pen flashlight from the bra he was wearing. The cage swung open from lack of electricity and they were able to escape Le Creuset's clutches. When they were near Kira and Athrun's room, someone suddenly asked: "Um, who's bra are you wearing?" Everyone stopped in their step. Kira blushed. "Err… um... Lacus'… Lacus shut up and blushed entirely. When the lights resumed, It was 11:50 p.m. "Ah, I have ten more minutes till I enjoy my prizes! Hahahah!" It was then that Rau noticed that Felicity was no longer tied to the post. "Eh?" Felicity was leaning on the wall and lifted the switch that separated the hidden pools and the main pools. As she did so, the panel lifted to reveal a pool of four old ladies, which was THAT pool with the love potion. Felicity glanced at Rau and pushed him in. Azrael saw what Felicity did and ran over to join Rau. When he passed behind Felicity, he accidentally bumped her and she fell headfirst into the pool. "NO, MY LOVE! COME BACK! HOW DARE YOU TAKE A BATH WITHOUT ME?" "Oh Lord, no! Azrael… You're GAY!" Rau said, pushing himself away and trying to get out of the pool. "YES, MY LOVE, I AM GAY! YOUR BEAUTY IS IRREPRESIBLE... AND I KNOW YOU LOVE MY BEAUTIFUL BODY!" Just then, the clock chimed midnight. "No! My brilliant plans have been foiled!" "BUT MY LOVE, THESE LADIES AND I ARE STILL HERE-""No! Curses!" Azrael pulled Rau out of the pool to lock him up in the room with Rau Le Creuset still protesting. "YOU ARE MINE, AND ONLY MINE, MY LOVE! I'M GOING TO MAKE YOU SO HAPPY!"

Mwu won the bet, kept his cat, got the P.E. teacher job, and everything went back to normal… but Rau, on the other hand, was made into a slave by Azrael's intense desires… and Azrael couldn't be any happier having acquired the man of his dreams.

* * *

A/N: So... what do you think? Please review! > 


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